Well I moved around in my single days.  I never ate too much
And if I did I burned it off an hour before lunch
I’d work out at the gym all night at squats and lats and curls 
Just a little extra effort to look good for the girls

Well a steady job’ll sure impress ‘em if you want a date
If one is good, I’d work at two or three to find a mate 
So I’d go from dawn to midnight working hard all day
Cause chasin’ chicks’ll do the trick to melt those pounds away

(instrumental)

Well I’ve met a few, but I never knew until I met the one
How sweet and tasty life could be when every day was done
She wrapped me up and she tied me down and it didn’t hurt at all 
She turned my life to cherries in a big ceramic bowl

(chorus:)
She feeds me cakes and pies and steaks and fries and hasenpfeffer stew
I’ve never been so comfortable I don’t know what to do
She brings me chips and dip and checks to see my beer don’t get to flat
I can’t help but love a girl so sweet, but lord she makes me fat

(bridge)
Well I could get off the couch and walk around the lake
But the sofa’s soft and her arms are warm and I just want to stay
Well I could get up and shut the TV down tonight
But I sit and hold her hand and she makes everything alright

(repeat chorus)
(tag)

mandolin, vocals: Bill Chapman
guitar, vocals: Tom Chapman
bass, vocals: Doug Gallob

I was just thinking about how I'm not as skinny as I was when I was young and single. I was also thinking about how well my wife treats me. I decided to write a goofy song making my weight my wife's fault.